John 6:1-14 | What am I going to do about it?

I hope you are okay with some vulnerability here. As I asked myself that question in yesterday's devotion, I really wanted to sit on that and pray. Having battled through some recent severe back pain, I went through days of being incredibly discontent. I would lay there trying to find any position of comfort and could find none. It was agony. I took a decent amount of pride in my health. I was strong and capable. With a simple move of passing my daughter off to my wife, all of that changed. I would love to say that through the pain and amidst the tears I just sang worship songs to the Lord and gave Him thanks for my body. I did do that, but I also did something else. I sat there and felt sorry for myself.

I was told by so many that I am too young for back pain. I am only 28 after all. Surely I would just bounce right back. And initially I did! I took my youth for granted and wound up hurting myself even more just a couple weeks later by not taking the previous injury seriously. I didn't sit there and blame God or doubt Him or His goodness or anything like that. But I did take my eyes off of Him and put them upon myself and felt bad for me. Somewhere in my pride, I thought I was entitled to good health. It made me waver when suddenly it wasn't so good. I was ashamed of that fact.

I have taught so many times on how we can and ought to suffer well as believers. I had my share of suffering in many capacities, but I had rarely had a pain like this upon my mind. It was hard for me to find satisfaction in Christ. But then I remembered this. The Lord sees me. He knows what I am enduring and how I am enduring. In truly believing that I will stand before Him, I remembered that I will stand before Him regarding this time as well. I long to see a smile upon His face for the way in which I suffered: with faith. I could sit in the pain and discontentment that I had. The pain remained painful and the suffering was there. But there was a greater reality that goes above that that enables me to suffer well. It is not my desire to be in pain in any regard, but I want to, above anything else, be satisfied in Jesus Christ alone no matter the circumstances. So I press in more fervently to praise and rejoicing in the Lord, both for those things in which I have suffered for and for those things that I have taken for granted. I pray that I would truly be satisfied in Him.

What are you applying today?